Get up.
Get up of the fucking floor and brush yourself off.
It is easier said than done.
The fear comes. It comes quickly. It is overwhelming, and I no longer know what to do, where to go, or who to go to.
Down, down, down.
I am spiraling downward uncontrolably.
Down, down, down.
I don't know how it ever got this bad at times. I really don't. And it terrifies me. I don't know what is taking place. I don't know why I have changed so much. I feel damaged. I am vulnerable.
Live.
Living is for the strong. It is for the brave.
Then explain why I am so weak and cowardly.
I am broken. Body, heart, and soul I am broken. I am beginning to wonder if any ammount of work will fix me. I would advise that you spend your time on something else. Not making it your goal to heal what is broken, to find what is irreplaceable.
Pessimistic, maybe.
Then again you have to see life from my point of view.
It is a view through a window of shattered glass. It is hard to explain why I chose that analogy. But there it is. My outlook and trust have been shattered this past year. I have been shaken to the core. And it has changed me.
I will continue to change. It is inevitable.
People will come and go, changing me along the way. Yet, there are a few who have made the biggest impact on me.
In a way, they have saved me for a short while. But only for a short while am I safe.
I don't want to be broken.
I'm too young to be this empty girl.
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