As I lay in my bed, I could feel it wash over me. You know the feeling. Your heart is sinking, it is slowly ripped apart, you are consumed. I tried to breathe slowly, to no avail. The sobs I held in my chest threatened to wrack my body, the tears held behind tightly closed eyelids made every bid for escape. I could not let myself cry over you. I could not become weaker than what I already was. Though my heart was painted loudly on my sleeve, I made every attempt to hide it. How could I be strong? How could I stand on my own when every bone in my body ached from pure exhaustion, when my mind had humbled itself and bowed in defeat? My heart wanted what it wanted, I could not stop that. And I couldn't stop the hurt you inflicted. You had succeeded. You had torn me apart.